Why I Became a Donor

I get asked this question alot. I thought about it and here it is. Some times it helps when you are confused about WHY you are doing something to sit down and write it out.

I am going to tell you about why I became a donor. These are my feelings right wrong or indifferent. I just hope something about how I feel will help you. Please bare with me because I am NOT the best of spellers.

I first became interested in all things vampire when I was 13. I NEVER felt like I was a vampire, but I couldn't understand why I felt drawn to them. I even wrote a paper about vampires in college and made an A on it. Being the good Southren Bapist that I am, I put it down to being immature and needing attention.

Two husbands and two children later, with everyone gone, I find myself drawn to vampire community again. I had stuff the feelings down by distracting myself with being a wife and a mother. Again, I felt it was the need for attention. I tried all kinds of "attention" grabbers but I still felt as if something was missing. I never felt like I have ever fitted in anywhere untill recently.

I did my research online (which was not aviable when I was 13). Read, anything I could get my hands on, placed my ad and waited to see what would happen. Was contacted by a vampire,who was a sangi. We went through the procedures to set up the donation.

It was something I had never felt before. It was like a feeling of peace came over me. It is something I cannot describe. I had never had anything feel as good as that (except seeing my children after they where born).

Can we get attached to the vampire? Yes. Every human beings need some kind of contact with others. We run the risk of being attached to anyone we meet (friends, family, that cute person we see at the store). I think more so with being a donor. We are giving of our life force and it is something special. A kind of contact beyond hugging, touching ,kissing, even sex.

Donors have to remember that alot of vamps see us just as food. Speaking for myself, I would like to be taken as a friend also. If you do become attached (and alot of us do), remember you have to deal with it.
I do not think there is a universal answer about why a person wants to be a donor. Just as I do not think there is a universal answer why one is a vampire.

Being a donor meets a need that needs to be filled. I feel as if I am suppose to help. I am sure as there are as many reason people are donors as there are donors. I no longer feel if it is because I need attention. I would like to think ,seeing that I am a nurse,Baptist,a mom, I could find an easier way to get attention. I have to hide my being a donor, because I would lose my job at the very least. There are easier things to be.

Right or wrong, I feel I am here to be a donor. In this me, me me, first world I know my reasons are hard to understand. Especailly for alot of vampires. Some think WHY in the world does she want to donate? It has to be she needs someone to latch on to. You know there are still a few of us in this world who want to help just because we ARE to help.

Maybe some donors are born like vamps are. I was not around other vampires growing up. Was not into the "goth" thing. I just know I am I have finally made peace with it.

I hope this helped some how. As I said before this is from my heart.

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Giselle47,sang donor